


Transformers Prime: Communications

by TheSunshineDragon



Category: Transformers: Prime
Genre: Attempt at Humor, Crack, Gen, Slightly Out Of Character
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-06
Updated: 2020-08-18
Packaged: 2021-03-04 00:07:52
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 12
Words: 2,667
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24564364
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheSunshineDragon/pseuds/TheSunshineDragon
Summary: Random snippets of conversations that happened during the events of TFP. Slight crack and mediocre attempts at humor!"I should have known to never take Arcee into the tall grass.""I can still hear you, ya know!""Whoops…"
Comments: 4
Kudos: 73





	1. Round 1

**Author's Note:**

> Italics indicate 'Beespeak

________________________________________

“Hakuna matata, hakuna matata, it means no worries, for the rest of your days!”

“Hey, Doc?

“Yes, Breakdown?”

“You’re singin’ Disney again.”  
________________________________________

“Human!”

“WHAT??”

“Geez, there’s no need to yell. I just wanted to ask you a question.”  
________________________________________

“ _Arcee, I have a plan_.”

“Is it a good plan?”

“ _I have a plan_.”  
________________________________________

“Hey, Jackie, what does the little blinking light mean?”

“It means...wait, blinking?”  
________________________________________

“Ratchet, how do we keep getting into these situations?”

“Eleven million years of friendship and I still don’t know.”  
________________________________________

“When will my reflection show, who I am inside?”

“You’re doing it again, Doc.”

“Scrap.”  
________________________________________

“The hardest thing about new friendships is finding out what the boundary is for jokes.”  
  


“We had no issues with that, may I remind you.”  
  


“This is true. No jokes were left unsaid.”  
  


“I will say, I do regret some of them.”  
  


“Me too, pal. Me too.”  
________________________________________

“Guys, I want a castle.”

“ _Nrrggghhhh. Smokescreen, it’s two in the morning. Go. To. Bed_.”  
________________________________________  
  
“Breakdown. BREAKDOWN!”  
  


“Eehh, what?”  
  


“Turn your comm unit off. You were snoring.”  
  


“Oh. Sorry.”  
________________________________________  
  
“Hey, Magnus, you got a sec?”

“What is it, Wheeljack?”

“I might have gotten myself into a fight with a couple of ‘Cons and I might be injured and I might be in the middle of nowhere. Now, it hurts my pride to say this, but I could use some help.”

“Next time, soldier, have back up.”  
________________________________________


	2. Round 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Italics indicate ‘Beespeak

* * *

“Hello? Anycon home?”

“I’m in the 37th floor kitchen. Wanna a sandwich?”  
________________________________________  
“Everything was so much easier when I was a sparkling.”

“What makes you say that, Bulk?”

“Because then I wouldn’t have to be focusing on what ‘Con is going to try to offline me next.”   
________________________________________  
“Hey, Jack, sorry for calling you so late, but can I crash at your house for the night? Everything is...messy.”

“Sure, I don’t see why not. Probably will give Mom a heart attack, but hey, I could use some help with this math homework anyways.”

“Thanks Jack.”

“You’re welcome.”  
________________________________________  
“ _It’s a beautiful morning, it’s a beautiful daaaaay, everything’s roses, everything’s a-oooooh-kaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaayyyy_!”

“Bumblebee, sing that one more time and I’ll have Ratchet groundbridge you to the North Pole.”  
________________________________________  
“Well, that didn’t end the way that I expected, but at least nobody important died.”

“Wheeljack!” 

“What?”  
________________________________________  
“So, Starscream, what’s the plan?”

“Plan? What plan? My plan was to follow your plan!”

“Oh, this is going to end well.”  
________________________________________  
“Shut up.”

“I didn’t say anything!”

“Don’t care. Shut up.”  
________________________________________  
“If you don’t make it, Doc, I’m takin’ your energy staff. That thing is really handy.”

“Over my sparkless husk.”  
________________________________________  
“Come on, when have my calculations ever been wrong?”

“Well…”

“Shut up, that was one time.”  
________________________________________  
“You’re right above ‘clown’ on my creepy scale, Decepticon.”

“I’ll take that as a compliment, Autobot scum.”  
________________________________________


	3. Round 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Italics indicated 'Beespeak

* * *

_“This is bad.”_

“You said that already.”

_“It seemed worth repeating.”_

* * *

“Doc, what are you doing up at, what time is it? Uh... _three thirty in the morning,_ making mac and cheese?”

“Look, I don’t ask for much in life, but just this once, could you not question my madness for like ten minutes?”

* * *

“Now, Smokescreen is it? Let me teach you how to lose.”

“Yeah, I imagine you’d be an expert in that. You’ve had a lot of practice the past few months.”

* * *

“Hey, Bumblebee, do you know why you should never buy anything with velcro?”

“ _Why?_ ”

“Because it’s a total rip-off!”

“ _Smokey?_ ”

“Yes?”

_“Go jump off a cliff._ ”

* * *

“Can I kill him?”

“No.”

“Just a little bit?”

“Starscream…

“Sorry, sorry.”

“No, you’re not.”

“It’s your word against mine, ground pounder.”

* * *

“You can’t just sit there all day, Doc.”

“I’ve done it before. Never underestimate my ability to idle.”

* * *

“Smokescreen, I have a mission for you.”

“Sure, Optimus!”

“A Decepticon signal was detected in South America. This is a reconnaissance mission only.”

“South America. It’s like America, but south. Right?”

“Yes, Smokescreen.”

“Great!”

* * *

“Alright! Whoever introduced Smokescreen to Disney has it coming for them!”

“ _I believe you can blame Raf for that, Arcee._ ”

“Hey!”

* * *

“I need to go de-stress.”

“Where are you going?”

“To demolish a storage room.”

* * *

“Eh, scrap it. Let’s just blow it up and call it a day.”

“Wheeljack, you cannot just “blow it up and call it a day”. There are procedures to follow.”

“Well, it sure would be scrappin’ easier to just blow it up, chief!”


	4. Round 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Italics indicate 'Beespeak

________________________________________  
“Your home is a wreck. You could’ve at least cleaned the bathroom.”  
  


“ _Had I known I was going to have guests at three o’clock in the morning I’m sure I would’ve_.”  
________________________________________  
“We can’t have a crisis — my schedule is already full.”  
  


“Did OP just sass Ultra Magnus?”  
________________________________________  
“You didn’t seriously…?”  
  


“Yep.”  
  


“You just…?”  
  


“Yep.”  
  


“Does that mean…?”  
  


“Quite probably.”  
________________________________________  
“Dun dun dun, we’re dead. Hey, where do you think you’re going?!”  
  


“Someplace where I won’t get blown up, Wrecker.”  
________________________________________  
“ _What is that smell_?”  
  


“You get accustomed to it.”  
  


“ _That is disturbing on a number of levels, just so you know, Knock Out_.”  
  


“Sanity wasn’t on my Christmas wish list.”  
________________________________________  
“What I lack in common sense, I make up for in sarcasm.”  
  


“I noticed, Jackie. I noticed.”  
________________________________________  
“That is a terrible, horrible, incredibly foolish idea.”  
  


“ _And_?”  
  


“Let’s do it and see what happens!”  
________________________________________  
“The guns aren’t working!”  
  


“Well make them work!”  
________________________________________  
“Mum! Bumblebee turned the gravity off again!”  
  


“Did you just call me ‘Mum’?”  
  


“In my defense, I was quoting.”  
________________________________________  
“I’m looking for a place. Mine blew up.”  
  


“Again?”  
  


“My calculations were off, okay? Not everything is exact in an experiment.”  
  


“Well, it should be for your sake.”  
  


“Hardy har har.”  
________________________________________


	5. Round 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Italics indicate 'Beespeak

________________________________________  
“Sir, we’re surrounded!”  
  


“Excellent, we can attack in any direction!”  
  


“Told you he wasn’t quite right in the CPU.”  
________________________________________  
 _  
“My shield is glowing. Why is my shield glowing? WHEELJACK THIS BETTER NOT EXPLODE.”  
_  
________________________________________  
“You’re still here...and making pancakes?”  
  


“Again, please don’t question my madness.”  
________________________________________  
“Technically, it wasn’t on fire.”   
  


_“Of course, it wasn’t on fire! You completely blew it up!”_  
________________________________________  
“I thought you forgot about me. I started to believe I would _die in that hole_.”  
  


“Never, Arcee. You were never forgotten.”  
________________________________________  
“Dude, we are not asking the Predacon for directions.”  
  


“ _Do you have any better ideas?_ ”  
________________________________________  
“Tell me something that I don’t know.”  
  


“That’s a dangerous statement, for there are many things you do not know, and there are even more things which should be kept secret.”  
  


“You’re annoyingly cryptic, old bot.”  
  


“I try.”  
________________________________________  
“Did the Predacons just save the town?”  
  


“ _I think they just did_.”  
  


“Cool! Now can they please shoo and stop being glory hogs?”  
________________________________________  
“So, ‘Cee, do you ever have that awkward moment when you spell a word so wrong, even autocorrect is like, “I got nothing, man”?”  
  


“Can’t say I have, Cliff. Why do you ask?”  
  


“Because I just had that moment.”  
  


Silence.  
  


“You just rolled your optics, didn’t you?”  
  


“Maaaaybe…”  
________________________________________  
“ _Yes, but last week a Predacon almost set my doorwings on fire, so it’s your turn to negotiate._ ”  
  


“WHY does it have to be me? Can’t Wheeljack do it?”  
  


“No, because he would more likely cause a verbal blow up and that would be the end of the delicate truce we have between us.”  
  


“Point taken.”  
________________________________________


	6. Round 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Italics indicate 'Beespeak

* * *

"No, no, you do NOT want me to navigate, I'll accidentally navigate us off a cliff. I'm terrible at navigating anyone but myself."  
  


"If you say so…"

* * *

"When did you become an expert in thermonuclear astrophysics, Ratchet?"  
  


"Last night, out of boredom."

* * *

"Will you be quiet!?"  
  


" _I didn't say anything!_ "  
  


"Well stop thinking so loud!"

* * *

"It's not my sparkday."  
  


"It's definitely your sparkday."  
  


"Give me a calendar. It's not and I will prove it to—oh. Never mind. Happy sparkday to me."

* * *

"I will win. Not immediately. But definitely."  
  


"Strong words for somebot who just got their tailpipe handed to them."

* * *

"Are you calling me a liar?"  
  


"Well I ain't calling you a truther."

* * *

"Everything is fine. I've got it under control."  
  


" _Is that why everything's on fire?_ "

* * *

"Wheeljack, NO!"  
  


"What?"  
  


"Sorry, force of habit. Arcee, NO!"

* * *

"Why _hello_ , Arcee."  
  


"Optimus Prime and Bulkhead are just around the corner. One girlish scream from me and they go into combat mode!"

* * *

"Why is Bumblebee on top of _The Jackhammer_?"  
  


"He likes to be tall."


	7. Round 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Italics indicate ‘Beespeak

“Oh look, it’s the Autobots.”

“Hello, we have names?!”

“Which I can never remember.”

* * *

“How do you usually get out of these messes?”

“We don’t. We just make a bigger mess that cancels out the first one out.”

“ _That it’s._ ”

* * *

“Why are short bots so fast?”

“ _We dwarves are natural sprinters._ ”

* * *

“I should have known to never take Arcee into the tall grass.”

“I can still hear you, ya know!”

“Whoops…”

* * *

“This is my life now. I have climbed this hill and now I will die upon it.”

“Stop being so dramatic, Knock Out. We’ve only been hiking for twenty minutes!”

* * *

“Which way did they go?”

“ _Well, based on the direction of the wind, the broken sticks in the corner, and the slight disturbance in the dirt, I’d guess they went left._ ”

“You can really figure it out from all that?”

“ _No, you idiot. They sent me a text. See?_ ”

“Oh.”

* * *

“Want to see what kind of trouble we can get in to?”

“Oh scrap, we’re going to die, aren’t we?”

“It’s a Tuesday, I know how to restrain myself.”

“You absolutely do not.”

“Hmph.”

* * *

“ _If you don’t apologize, I’m gonna tell Mom._ ”

“Oh please, I’m an adult. I can do what I want.”

“ _Ok...Mom!_ ”

“No, wait! I’m sorry!”

* * *

“I’m not going to help you take over the world. No, not even if you bribe me with energon cookies. Now get off my tailpipe, you piece of scrap!”

* * *

“You really have no idea who I am?”

“ _You’d think the confused looks and blank stare would have answered that for you._ ”


	8. Round 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Italics indicate 'Beespeak

________________________________________  
“You’re insane!”  
  


“I know! Isn’t it great?”  
________________________________________  
“Why aren’t you afraid of me?”  
  


“Seriously? I have worse nightmares about failing the Elite Guard test.”  
________________________________________  
“ _I have neither the time nor the crayons to explain this to you._ ”  
  


“Just tell me what needs to go boom.”  
________________________________________  
“Well, _someone_ thought it would be a good idea to throw our backup plan off a bridge.”  
  


“It was on _FIRE_!”  
________________________________________  
“You scared me!”  
  


“Well, I am naturally terrifying.”  
  


“Shut up.”  
________________________________________  
“ _You’re speeding!”_  
  


“I acknowledged the sign’s recommendation.”  
  


“ _You’re going thirty miles over_!”  
________________________________________  
“This plan of yours is going to get us killed. Of course, I’m in.”  
  


“And what plan of yours hasn’t gotten us _almost_ killed?”  
________________________________________  
“On whatever honor I have left, I swear I will end you for what you’ve done.”  
  


“Game on, two-wheeler.”  
________________________________________  
“I’m not as bad as the books say, you know.”  
  


“Quiet, evil one.”  
  


“Ooh, name calling. So fearsome.”  
________________________________________  
“Can we panic now?”  
  


“Uh, yes. Yes, commence with the panicking!”  
________________________________________


	9. Round 9

“Hey, Bee! How’s it going?”

“ _Great! Want to hear a joke?_ ”

“You’re on!”

“ _What did the ocean say to the other ocean?_ ”

“I don’t know. What?”

“ _Nothing! They just waved!_ ”

“I sea what you did there!”

“ _You shore did!_ ”

The scout and rookie high-fived and laughed.

“Someone please put me out of my misery…”

* * *

“This is the first and LAST time I give you permission to punch through the walls.”

“Thanks, Doc. Now if you’ll excuse me…”

* * *

“There is one terrifying word in the world of nuclear physics…”

“Oops?”

“...radiation.”

“Oh.”

* * *

“Hold on, you _died_.”

“Yeah, well, it didn't stick.”

* * *

“I can’t open this can of tuna. Our can opener is broken.”

“So, it’s a can’t opener?”

“I need to find new friends.”

* * *

“Awfully bold of you to assume that I exist, but go off, I guess.”

“As you wish, Lord Megatron.”

* * *

“OH MY STARS ARE YOU OKAY?”

“Oh yeah I’m fine, I just like bleeding for fun.”

“Arcee, we need to get your CPU checked.”

* * *

“Hey Ratchet?”

“WHAT?!”

“Never mind, you’re in a bad mood.”

* * *

“Funny thing is when websites ask if I’m a robot, I technically am one that’s simply capable of human-like thoughts and emotions.”

“...aka, you’re not some prehistoric intelligence?”

“Exactly.”

* * *

“Don’t confuse my personality with my attitude. My personality is who I am. My attitude depends on who you are.”

“Wow, never thought I would hear something so poetic that isn’t about explosives and fires from Wheeljack.”


	10. Round 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes, it's the middle of the week. 
> 
> Do I care?
> 
> Obviously not :P 
> 
> Italics indicate 'Beespeak!

* * *

“I don’t care if I can’t sing. This is my favorite song. Therefore, I will sing.”

“Even if it’s Disney?”

“Especially if it’s Disney.”

* * *

“ _I am a ninja._ ”

“No, you’re not.”

“ _Did you see me do that?_ ”

“See what?”

“ _Exactly._ ”

* * *

“Am I the only one that tries to accomplish a task before the microwave hits zero like my life depends on it?”

“No, I think that’s universal.”

* * *

“Did you get home safe?”

“No, I died a few times.”

“Jack Darby!”

* * *

“Are you free tomorrow?”

“No, I’m expensive, sorry.”

* * *

“ _This is a mistake.”_

“A mistake we’re going to laugh about one day.”

“ _But not today._ ”

“Oh, no, today’s gonna be a mess.”

* * *

“Did you press the stop button?”

“No. Did you?”

“No.”

* * *

“I’d like you to try and tell the difference between blood and marinara sauce!”

* * *

“Why does everything smell all…you know, clean?”

“That would be fresh air.”

* * *

“A is for organization.”

“According to WHAT alphabet?”


	11. Round 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Italics indicate 'Beespeak

* * *

“We have five people trying to kill us right now, what are we supposed to do?”

“ _Actually, it’s more like eight._ ”

“Oh, sorry I wasn’t specific enough!”

* * *

“Since when do you not know where your cups are?”

“Since my neighbor got bored and reorganized my kitchen.”

“I didn’t know who had neighbors.”

“Yeah, you don’t want to meet him.”

* * *

“I have to take credit for this.”

  
  
“ _I think you mean ‘blame’_.”

“No, no, _credit_ , not blame.”

* * *

“Why don’t you ever come when I call you?”

“Because you were making cow noises and I am not a cow.”

“Well, moo.”

* * *

“I can take him. I took a self-defense class when I was fifteen.”

“Miko, you turned fifteen two days ago.”

“Still counts!”

* * *

“This is it. I’m done. Never again.”

“ _What happened_?”

“Unspeakable horror, that’s what.”

“ _Alrighty, then_.”

* * *

“Is it still murder if I give them a heads up?”

“That’s called a threat.”

“Scrap.”

* * *

“That wasn’t our escape route, right?”

“Oh, you mean the one that’s been blocked off? Yeah, it was.”

“RUN!”

* * *

“So, um…where did your house go?”

“That’s a fantastic question.”

* * *

“Where’s the idiot, anyway?”

“I’m right here.”

“Surprisingly enough, I’m not talking about you this time.”

* * *


	12. Round 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The final chapter of this fic! I should hopefully have on up for RiD (2015) in a few weeks, so keep an eye out for that!
> 
> Italics indicate 'Beespeak

"Having patience is the secret to success."  
  


"And you don't have a lot of it, so how do you succeed?"  
  


"With my negative attitude and sparkling personality."

* * *

"Have you no control over these idiots?"  
  


"None whatsoever."

* * *

"Airachnid has a lot to answer for."  
  


"I know, I have a list. Arcee has a file."

* * *

"Bumblebee, can I talk to you a minute?"  
  


" _Ooooooooh someone's in trouble!_ "  
  


" _It's me._ "  
  


" _I don't know why I did that_."

* * *

" _What's up with Wheeljack?_ "  
  


"He's just a little overwhelmed."  
  


" _Why?_ "  
  


"Ultra Magnus giggled."

* * *

"There are three ways to do things: the right way, the wrong way, and the Wheeljack way."  
  


"Isn't that the wrong way?"  
  


" _Yeah, but faster_."

* * *

"Alright, what time does the judgmental express arrive?"  
  


" _Ratchet and Ultra Magnus arrive at noon_."

* * *

"Do you know how much better life would be if we could zoom our eyes in and out?"  
  


"Stepping closer. You're talking about moving your body, Raf."  
  


"Oh yes, let me just step closer into the sky and look at the stars. Or, how about I step closer into the tiger den at the zoo to see them better?"  
  


"Well someone's having a bad day with that level of sarcasm."

* * *

"Can anyone recommend a good horror movie?"  
  


"The Reflection."  
  


"Cool, where can I find it?"  
  


"In the mirror, BYE."  
  


"MIKO!"

* * *

"What's the hardest thing to say?"  
  


" _I was wrong_?"  
  


"I need help?"  
  


"Worcestershire sauce."  
  


" _Oh, yeah, that one wins by a landslide_."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I think literally every chapter had a different page break style XD Needless to say, I struggled to figure that one out (I'm so used to FFN's very simple and easy page breaks HA)
> 
> Anyways, thank you so much to everyone who read, commented, and kudofied this fic! I really appreciate it :) Like I said, I should hopefully be putting together one for RiD (2015) over the next few weeks. Maybe expect it in the late fall? Depends on if I get run over by life or not.
> 
> Have a fantastic day and enjoy some sunshine if you can!
> 
> (yeah i really need to work on my catchphrase)


End file.
